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avatar Oddsteverino 18 day.ago

A man in a convertible is stuck in traffic

A woman of purchasable virtue leans into the man's car displaying her ample wares and short skirt. She tells him huskily that she can fulfill his wildest fantasy for only $200, but he has to say it in just three words. He asks, "anything I want?" "Yes" she purrs. "Paint my house."

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Hinduism on the other hand, they never had any beef!

2. What's a cow's favourite night-time activity?

Stargrazing

3. Superman is hovering over the skies of Metropolis...

He notices Wonder Woman sunbathing nude on the rooftop of a luxurious hotel suite, so he thinks to himself; "Hmm, if I can fly faster than the speed of light, I can probably have sex with her and she won't even know what happened!" He swoops down to where she is, does the deed, then flies away with a big smile. Startled, Wonder Woman says, "What the hell was that?" "I don't know but my ass hurts," replied The Invisible Man.

4. What did the cactus say when he got hit by another cactus's elbow?

Watch where your going you prick

5. The other day I was diagnosed with anxiety and constipation

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7. The other day I found out my toaster wasn't water proof.

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8. What do you call a F1 team's CEO who makes too much mistakes?

a Toto Wolff.

9. You got hit by a rental car?

Yeah, it Hertz.

10. If April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflowers bring?

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